By Tony Ortiz | December 28, 2015


1. Hello?  Oh, hi Miguel.  Why are you calling me blocked?  -  Because I’m not at my desk.  Some people have lunch at work you know.  Yea.  Yes, I said.  I’m with Maritza.  Ok.  I have to stay a little later again today.  Why are you ‘whatevering’ me?  Should I just quit my job?  Are you going to pay all the bills?  -  I didn’t think so.  I am doing what I got to do.  Ok, bye!

2. Oh so I’m a girl now?

1. To him everybody better be a girl, trust me.  I’m not in the mood for his shit right now.

2. What are you in the mood for?

1. Well, you heard what I said.  I’m ‘working late’, right?

2. Good answer.  We’ll relieve all of that stress a little later sweetheart.  I’ll call for a reservation now.

1. Don’t use the same place as last week.  Those sheets were so uncomfortable.  I can leave today like around …




3. Bro, if this deal goes through, we are set!  Do you know how big an investment from them will be?

4. I know man.  I don’t want to jinx it but I think …




5. Next on line, can I take your order?




6. I’m so sick of this guy.

7. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a positive thing about him I don’t get how he still gets to manage.

6. You’re lucky he hasn’t worked with your department yet.  If he knew what he was doing I’d be fine with it all too.

7. And I heard he acts like he knows it all too.

6. That’s what I’m saying; dude just admit when you don’t know something.  That makes us not want to deal with your smug ass.

7. Tell me about it.  I can’t work with people …




8. Tracy where’s order #57 please?  Mike when you see three like this on the screen, you know they’re ‘to stay’ orders so you can prep the three trays now with the lining and set them up here, before the food is even …




9. You guys going to 8th period?

10. Nah, fuck that.  I didn’t do Mr. Fox’s homework anyways.

11. I’m down to chill, I don’t feel like going back today.

9. I’ll chill for 8th too but I got a Trig test 9th  

11. Pussy.  Fuck Trig.  What do you need that for?

9. Yea, yea.  So I can get the fuck outta school man.  I don’t want to wind up working in a place like this forever.




5. Here’s your change.  Thank you.

12. Thank you beautiful.  What time you get off today?

5. What?

12. What time you get off beautiful? - So I can pick you up.

5. Uhh, 5:30 but I don’t need you to pick me up.  Next on line please.

12. I’m not moving until you say yes to me.

5. You crazy.  The people in line are gonna kill you.

12. You’re worth dying for.

5. Oh my god, I can’t with you.  You’re crazy.

12. Just give me your number real quick and I’ll be on my way.

5. Ok but only so you move and don’t hold up my line.  917-643 …




13. Excuse me, do you know how much longer it’s going to be?  I only have a half hour lunch break.

8. What’s your order number?

13. Fifty one.  Did they forget?

8. No, it should just be a couple of minutes.

13. C’mon man, its been 13 minutes already.

8. It’ll just be a couple more ma’am, I’m sorry.  We’ll give you …




14. Danielito, comase todas sus papas.

15. Ya me comí mucho mami.

16. Despues del Freedom Tower y el museo de las torres gemelas, ¿para adonde quieren ir?

15. Vamos a la tienda de juguetes!

14. ¿Que juguetes ni juguetes?  Comase su almuerzo.

16. O vamos a la estatua de liberated, o a ver a el empire state building, que queda por allí también…




5. Next online.  Can I take your order?




17. Uh. I thought I told you cats I’m not a rapper.  Can I live?  I told you in ’96 that I came to take this shit and I did, handle my biz, I scramble …




8. Order #51.  Here you go ma’am.  We’re really sorry for the delay.  Here’s a $5 coupon for your next visit.

13. I can’t come back here.  I don’t have time to eat in this place.




18. We need bread at home, right?

19. Nah, I got some after my jog this morning.

18. Oh ok, nice.  I was going to say we could swing by the bodega after the movie.

19. One step ahead of you boo.  Here, try my milkshake, it’s …




6. This burger sucks man.

7. Yea, it’s not that great.  We have to try a different spot.  Mix it up a bit.

6. Yea.  It’s crazy how hot it is today too right?  Have you seen all the people on Instagram and Facebook with pics of them in shorts and T’s and shit?

7.  Mhmm, yea.  Hashtag shortsleevedecember or something like that?

6. Yea, they went a touch too far with shorts though.

7. Watch it be snowing in April now.  Fucking climate is all out of wack…




8. Here’s your order sir, enjoy and have a great day.

20. Thanks, you too boss.


Bzzzzzzz SWAT! Silence.  

Tony OrtizComment